Earlier today, I subjugated the entirety of the United States of America in the name of the glorious Furon Empire; and what fun it was. Destroy All Humans is back like a blast from the past, the original that is, beautifully remade from the ground up for the Xbox One, PS4, and PC platforms. Before I continue, I want it to be established that I’ve been playing and adoring the DAH franchise since I was in grade school (Path of the Furon in particular was like a drug to me), so any criticisms I levy come from a place of genuine love in the hopes of patched improvements and the overall continuation of the IP. To be clear, this is by no means a review; more so my impressions of the title and what the franchise may (hopefully) hold in store for us in the future. So, without further delay, did Blackforest Games walk the Path of the Furon? Or did they stray from the light?
Faithful to the Furon Empire
I have to admit, I was extremely nervous when this remake was announced. DAH is infamously known for it’s crude humor, and in 2020 that bothers quite a lot of people. Luckily, Blackforest Games has backbone, and none of the dialogue or story from the original was altered in the slightest. Almost immediately relieved of that concern after starting my playthrough, I was eager to see how this beloved game from my childhood would look with modern graphics. Personally, I believe Blackforest Games did a phenomenal job with the visuals, capturing the aesthetic and feel of the original while simply modernizing it. This is how you do a proper remake! Additionally, the gameplay is just as ludicrously entertaining as it’s always been, nearly identical to the play style of the original (but again, more fluid and modernized). When it comes to what really matters, retaining it’s identity, Destroy All Humans Remake outright succeeds in every fashion. There are few games that make me feel like a kid again, and I’m elated to say this is one of them. Even if you aren’t partially blinded by nostalgia, the title offers an immense amount of fun to be had and carnage to cause. However, the game is not without faults, and in my opinion all of said faults are of the technical variety.
A Glitch in the System
To my dismay, not all is smooth sailing in DAH Remake. Technical issues and bugs hinder the experience to a noticeable degree, those of which I will now outline:
- Frequent frame Drops Below 15 FPS (on Xbox One X)
- Pulled out of Holo-Bob disguise for no reason whatsoever
- Audio-skipping throughout entire playthrough (almost unbearable with headphones)
- Objects completely missing locked-on targets with PK
- Rare, occasional crashes
- Some poorly placed checkpoints which lead to repeated mission failures in certain instances
All of that being said, if these problems are patched I would have virtually no issues with DAH Remake.
The Future of the Furon
Seeing as how we have a “new” DAH game in 2020, well after the franchise’s supposed demise in 2008, all things are possible. Although the metascore for DAH Remake lingers just under a 70, I sincerely hope this doesn’t discourage THQ Nordic and Blackforest Games from fully reviving and revitalizing this fantastic franchise. If anyone from either company is reading this, I have a personal message for you: please, for the love of all that is good in this universe, remake Destroy All Humans 2 as your next project. This was an incredible starting point, and now being more experienced with DAH as a whole you could all truly bring this beloved IP back from the grave in full force and with that signature Cryptosporidium-style. Keep doing exactly what all of you are doing and you could easily amass a sizable fan base, and in the future even possibly remake the Path of Furon or who knows, even create an all new DAH game entirely from scratch. The only suggestion I would make is to spend way more time in QA. The bugs and technical issues I previously mentioned could indeed be a lot worse, however in tandem these grievances caused some furious frustration. I encourage you all to take the next step with this incredible IP; the Future of the Furon Empire is in your capable hands. Don’t let us down.